Talking to doctors about prostate cancer

Here are some tips you may want to consider when meeting with doctors:

• If you are meeting with the doctor for the first time, think of it as a job interview, except that you are the one doing the hiring!
• Ask where did the doctor go to medical school and who did they train with? Find out how long they’ve been in practice and how many men with prostate cancer they treat a year. Would you rather your loved one go to a doctor who treats five men with prostate cancer each year or 50?
• If you are talking to a surgeon, it’s important to ask how many surgeries does he/she perform a week? It makes a big difference if a surgeon does 1-3 surgeries per week, versus only 1-3 per month.
• There are many different surgical approaches for prostate cancer. If a surgeon suggests a newer technique—such as robotic-assisted laparoscopic radical prostatectomy, ask how many times the surgeon has performed this type of surgery (one study reports that a surgeon needs to perform 750 "keyhole" surgeries to become proficient). You don’t want your loved one to be among the doctor’s early “test cases.”
• A telling question to ask any doctor is what percentage of men he/she treats need additional treatment later on?
• Another good question is how many men have experienced long-term side effects (such as impotence or incontinence) after treatment? Make sure the doctor gives you his/her practice percentages, and not general percentages from clinical studies.
• If a doctor can’t provide you with treatment follow-up percentages, you may want to consider finding another doctor who does keep track of this information.
• It’s very important to ask the doctor how does he/she define incontinence? If the doctor does not define occasional leaking/accidents or dribbling as incontinence, you need to know this.
• You can also ask to call a few men the doctor has previously treated to ask for a recommendation (the doctor will just need to get permission from those men first). What's even better is to go to a support group meeting and ask about the doctor.
• Write down any questions ahead of time, so if you get nervous while you are talking or forget, you’ll have them to refer to. It’s also a good idea to bring a notebook to write down the answers. You can also bring a tape recorder if you want.
• If the doctor uses terms you don’t understand, don’t be afraid to ask what they mean. It’s better to keep questioning the doctor until you do understand, than to leave the office without the knowledge you need—and deserve.
• If you feel you are being rushed or intimidated, stand your ground until you get the answers/information you deserve. Remember, you have “hired” the doctor and he/she works for you and your loved one.
• You are your man’s best “patient advocate,” which means the more information you gather and read before talking with doctors, the more informed questions you can ask.