Sex after prostate cancer treatment
(your first time)

Here are some tips that you may want to consider the first time you have sex after prostate cancer treatment:

• Keep your expectations very low. If your loved one has had surgery for prostate cancer —and impotence is a problem—sexual recovery generally occurs slowly over time. It can even take several years.
• Try to be patient. Some men may continue to have problems getting or maintaining a “stuffable erection” for sexual intercourse. Fortunately, there are both drug and device options now available that you can try.
• Try to let nature take its course, without pressuring your loved one with questions like: “is anything happening yet?”
• Your man may want to stand or kneel upright (as opposed to laying down), as these positions may help increase blood flow to the penis.
• If your loved one is taking a drug for erectile dysfunction, or using a self-injected drug, allow enough time for the drug to take effect and reach its peak.
• If one drug doesn’t seem to help, ask your loved one’s doctor about trying another.
• If sexual intercourse is not possible, use your imagination and experiment with other ways to pleasure each other.
• You can also consider incorporating sexual aids into your lovemaking (such as a vibrator or a dildo), which may help enhance your mutual pleasure.
• Remember that a man does not need an erection to experience an orgasm.
• It may help to talk about what’s working—and what isn’t—during your lovemaking sessions.
• If you view an attempt as a success or a failure, you may set yourself up for disappointment. It may help to think of your man’s sexual recovery as a process that is ongoing.
• While it may be frustrating or even disheartening at times, keep trying. If things still don’t improve, discuss what other options are available with your loved one’s doctor.

Also visit the section of this web site titled your sex life.

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